Smell is a tricky thing for most of us. We use our olfactory sense everyday to help us make those important ‘should I drink this milk’ kinds of decisions. Science has shown us that the olfactory sense is a highly evolved one used by animal and insects in regulating almost every aspect of daily life. We are learning a great deal about the role of pheromones in the life of animals and insects and are just beginning to understand their role in human behavior. Olfaction in humans is one of the most ancient of evolutionary senses and when combined with vision and taste it can make for a great restaurant experience.

Except when the lady behind you is drenched in perfume.

That’s when the sense of smell tends to overwhelm and flood the brain—provoking a hit and run kind of situation for Miss Lisha. While trying to eat my eagerly awaited Frisco Melt the other day, my nasal passages were suddenly attacked by my neighbor’s flowery perfume. Now, I don’t know how many of you have eaten a Frisco Melt at Steak n Shake, but I can assure you there are no floral ingredients to this sandwich. My appetite was completely thrown off and my nasal hairs were practically burned right out of my nose from having been exposed to what were clearly illegal levels of Jean Nate. Headache ensued and it took the better part of the afternoon to get that smell out of my system while on the phone with the EPA investigating criminal charges.

I don’t often wear perfume. Mostly because I’m around individuals who can’t handle the overpowering aroma of the Bath and Body Works products invading most bathroom shelves. Those living with an autism spectrum disorder generally have one of two responses to smell: Love It or Leave It. If this is a person who’ loves it’, they’ll be smelling your hair and your hands and have a candle stuck halfway up their nose for most of the day. If this is a ‘leave it’ kind of situation—they’ll be in the furthest corner away from the potpourri waiting for it to spontaneously combust and disappear from the earth. I tend to err on the side of caution and avoid lathering myself or the environment in the pine and roses or bananas and hibiscus smells that permeate the Bath and Body Works stores.

Smell, being the powerful sense that it is, can evoke fairly powerful reactions in an individual with autism. I’ve seen children make a bee line for the nearest door when confronted with the smell of popcorn. I’ve seen children vomit when exposed to the cleaners used for bathrooms and kitchens or even the seemingly innocent smell of vanilla. Don’t discount the sense of smell when trying to understand WHY this child can’t handle an environment or situation—whether that’s the classroom, playground, or kitchen—smell can drastically affect this child’s ability to participate. And don’t discount the sense of smell as the reason Miss Lisha slaps you upside the head as you sit next to her at the restaurant.

I’m obviously sensitive to smell myself so I can relate to the kiddo who takes one whiff of your shampoo and runs for the hills. Be aware that your laundry is coated in Tropical Paradise detergent, Tahiti Mountain Breeze Downy, and Renewing Rain Bounce dyer sheets. Be aware that your oatmeal and vanilla shampoo and conditioner stays in your hair while your banana body wash covers every inch your skin. Be aware that your Bath and Body works Plumeria lotion and Exotic Coconut body spray announces your presence long before you walk in the door. The total effect of these smells is overwhelming to the individual who is a ‘leave it’ kind of person. It’s overwhelming and it’s nauseating.

Imagine trying to wrangle up an appetite and eat a decent meal with a eucalyptus leaf and a sun ripened raspberry stuck up your nose. Imagine trying to do complex math problems with a potpourri of apple chunks and cinnamon sticks swirling around your head like the buzzing of a thousand bees. Imagine to read when the patchouli incense sticks make your eyes water with an intensity of a thousand Niagara Falls.

Stop and think about these things before you even step foot into the world of autism. Because I guarantee you the person with autism who is a ‘leave it’ kind of person is thinking about these smells, distracted by these smells, and is practically ill from these smells—and certainly not hungry anymore because of it.