Today my husband took our new kitty, Moses, to the vet. While Moses was there, the vet asked Anthony if we thought he had a hard time hearing. Anthony said that, yes, it seems that he doesn't respond to his name, doesn't respond to the food bag being shaken, and thinks the vacuum cleaner and hair dryer are more fun than anything. After a quick exam, the vet said to wait till Moses was sleeping and make some noise off to the side of his ears to see if he responded. Tonight, Anthony did just that and whistled the loudest whistle you've ever heard and Moses didn't flinch, didn't move, didn't cock an ear, nothing. We did it time and time again just to make sure.

Moses is deaf.

It's odd to have this feeling again. The feeling that something seemed odd, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. Something we thought was nothing that turned out to be a change in lifestyle.

Now that we think about it, Moses is a very visual cat. He watches, watches, watches. Follows us into the room where we feed him every time we walk in there. Why? Because he doesn't know when we're going to feed him, he can't hear the food bag shuffling around. He doesn't respond when we walk in the house, doesn't come to kitty kitty kitty. The other day we thought we'd lost him because we couldn't find him anywhere. He didn't come to any calls, any sounds of food, anything at all for hours and hours. We finally found him blissfully asleep, not once having heard us calling out to him.

He is a fantastic cat. Very funny, very loving, very patient. Now it's our turn to be patient with him. Now instead of calling him, we'll knock on the floor or use a flashlight. Now instead of calling out to him and picking him up, we stomp to let him know we're there before picking him up. We'll strictly maintain his feeding schedule so he has a sense of security and routine about his life.

Life is about adjustment and this is a great experience for our children and our family. Maybe Ewan can teach Moses some sign language!

This situation reminds me of so many families that come in with concerns about their child. At first, something seemed odd but maybe it was the first child and mom and dad just couldn't put a finger on what was different. Often, I hear parents say they think their child is deaf, when in reality the child may have a form of autism. Parents will say they call out the child's name over and over with no response, but the Spongebob theme song comes on and the child comes running from 3 blocks over. The autistic child is also very visual, often relying more on what they see than on what they hear. Children with ASD often have difficulty communicating either expressively, receptively, or both and they end up learning alternative forms of communication--like sign language. Families and children often do a lot of adjusting after diagnosis--slowly learning each other over again from a new perspective.

Today, I've questioned whether or not Moses is deaf several times. I've tested his hearing time and time again, just to make sure--as if I don't quite believe it. Like the phases of grieving we all experience when things go differently than planned, I am in denial. But I'm reading, I'm learning, I'm finding out what I can do to make our cat's life happy, full, and healthy. Just like so many of our parents do, just as our parents want to see their children have a happy, full, and healthy life. Now we have to really tune in to our skills of observation to understand what Moses needs, what Moses wants, and what Moses is thinking. It's like getting to know him all over again, the joy of learning each other now in the light of this day.

Red Flags for Autism:
*Child not orienting to name when called
*Child not pointing by 12 months
*Child not babbling by 9 months
*Child not using single words by 16 months
*Child not using 2 word sentence by 24 months
*Child loses skills at any age

Some myths about Autism:
*Children with autism do not make eye contact--it's not about making eye contact, it's about the quality of the eye contact and how the child uses it!
*Children with autism are all nonverbal--most of our children with ASD DO have language although it may sound odd or may be delayed.
*Children with autism do not show affection--most of our children show a lot of affection toward a parent or other special caregiver--usually it's on THEIR terms though!
*Children with autism resemble that guy Rainman--Rainman was a savant, there are only about 100 recognized savants in the world. Not all savants are autistic and not all autistics are savants