When you think of autism, what is the first thing you think of? Do you think of Rainman and Dustin Hoffman? Do you think of an institution? Most people have an 'imprint' of what autism means to them and it's not always the reality of autism.

Most people think 'nonverbal' when they think of autism. They think this person will not be able to live life independently. They think this person will not be affectionate. They think this person does not have empathy for others. They think this person will never make eye contact. They think of this as a shell of a human being.

The truth is that autism is different in every person. The truth is that while 30-40% of those with autism will fail to develop functional speech, that means the 60-70% WILL. The majority of people with autism do have some or a lot of speech, although it may sound odd, may be be very literal, concrete, or blunt. If a person is not verbally communicating, it's time to push other forms of communication--that means sign language, symbols, high tech devices. Don't ever assume that someone with autism does not WANT to communicate or wouldn't know how to learn augmentative forms of communication!

The truth is that many individuals with autism may need help and coping skills to live independently. I know many invididuals with Asperger's syndrome who can create the most intricate and complex computer systems you have ever seen, but not know how to make a sandwich. These are the tasks they made need help with. The every day, daily tasks that we take for granted, that we assume are easy. These tasks can be very challenging, but they can be done given some coping mechanisms. The truth is, their life can be very rewarding and fulfiling--but it may not be what we think they should be doing. Their priorities are not our priorities.

The truth is that many of our children and adults with autism are very affectionate--but on their own terms. Think of it like this: all cats are just autistic dogs! ;) Cats come to YOU when THEY need you, when they want you, when they need love. Children and adults with autism are very similar, they come to you, they set the rules, they set the boundaries--we just need to recognize and respect that.

The truth is that many of our children and adults with autism experience emotions and empathy in an almost overwhelming fashion and they have difficulty expressing and understanding what is happening. It's not that empathy is completely void in them--it's understanding that communication is the problem and communicating complex emotions is difficult for all of us and most especially those with autism.

The truth is that many of our children and adults with autism can and do make eye contact but it can be difficult and may even be painful. Remember that it's not about the quantity of eye contact but the quality. Remember that eye contact may be perceived as painful by the person with ASD. Remember that if you ask a person with ASD to look at you, they may not be able to HEAR you at the same time. Remember this about eye contact: the saying is that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Think about how much we convey with eye contact every single day: love, lust, hate, sorrow, and more. The eyes are very powerful. If you don't understand what you are seeing or are overwhelmed by it, eye contact might be something you'd avoid.

Remember this about autism: it is complex, it is difficult to understand at times, it can be frustrating at times, but it can also be great, exciting, powerful, and these individuals have MANY strengths. Remember that we can all learn something from someone with autism--we just need to take the time to understand and LISTEN to them--even when they are not using words to talk to us. Those with autism are our greatest teachers. Learn from them.